Wednesday, 29 February 2012

i truly wish i knew the answers; 
but my future is just so very uncertain
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God i am;
 i'm on a blood buzz

if it were possible

i would have gone back to you
to help ease that cold, hopeless expression off your face,
taken you for food and paid your way 
to wherever it was you are going

that picture

of you when you were little
yes you
is so cute i literally cried

spontaneous

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jaded

being so



con·ven·ient/kənˈvēnyənt/

Adjective:
Fitting in well with a person's needs, activities, and plans, involving little trouble or effort.



    is the reason you became so 


    jad·ed/ˈjādid/

    Adjective:
    Tired of, bored of, typically after having had too much 



    of me 

    Sunday, 26 February 2012

    Saturday, 25 February 2012

    home

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    word of the day

    prag·mat·ic/pragˈmatik/

    Adjective:
    Dealing with things sensibly and realistically in a way that is based on practical rather than theoretical considerations.

    yes, i realize i am being pragmatic.
    yes, it is abnormal for a woman
       yes, being pragmatic is comfortable  for me
     and yes, it keeps my shit in perspective  zd
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    scent

    tonight the scent of your place in those little black shorts hit me full force like a brick wall.
    it's amazing how powerful even one of our natural senses, can truly be

    Thursday, 23 February 2012

    future

    simply
    eager

    like a shot gun, i can't be out done

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        i'm a prostitute.
                                    &
                                                                          you gon' get some

    Wednesday, 22 February 2012

    (it's a secret)

                                                                                                      i sort of moved 

    sorrow found me when i was young

    my father came into my room tonight,
    quietly asked me about you,
    about my feelings for you
    and admitted his opinion of you surprised even him
    which makes two of us
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    now once again i find myself staring off at nothing in particular
    my disjointed, disconcerted thoughts once again settling on you

    about today

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    how close am i
    to losing you
    to losing me

    today's one and only constant

    emotional hangover

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    so here we are

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    Tuesday, 21 February 2012

    Monday, 20 February 2012

    my butter sauce at tonights birthday supper tasted like you did, last night

    Friday, 17 February 2012

    repeat

    the best i know how to explain you
    is a song
    a song that you hear for the first time
    and you fall madly in love.
    with the idea of it, and with the song itself, with every aspect of it
     as you grow familiar to it
    to the role it plays, the influence it has, in your life
    -
    you
    you're that song that's been around longer than i've expected it to
    stuck on repeat
    that i just can't get out of my head
    even if i wanted you to
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    leave your home, change your name

    it's ironic, that this song brings me to tears each and every time it's played
    it's quite tiring, to be frank.

    future tattoo

    "not all those who wander are lost"
    but not just yet
    when the time is right, 

    in the corners of my mind

    my aspirations are whispered 
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    and refuse to be silent

    summer

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    i find myself lusting after you on a daily basis
    let's get acquainted soon

    Thursday, 16 February 2012

    we're all just young folks in old bodies


    if i told you things i did before 
    told you how i used to be 
    if you knew my story word for word 
    would you go along with someone like me 

    my old friend,

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    please do not pursue me any further
    i care about you deeply
    you're like a brother to me
    but i do not share your affections

    Wednesday, 15 February 2012

    i caught myself

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    reminiscing today,
    back to June 2011
    back to the fondest memory of high school i have
    the rarity of fond memories from high school is something 
    only i will truly appreciate 
    and for once,
     this high school memory wasn't ridiculously cliché..
    - - -
    i remember the memories ..
    of that long drive north
    of rough roads, day dreams and good music
    of meeting little James and the stray that protected him
    of breathing in the stagnant air of that church on the cliff
    of trembling with delight, signing the book on the lectern
    of walking among the poorly dug graves of the lost loved ones 
    of scoping out the rocky terrain for the best place to lay my head for the night
    of the waterfall being my lullaby each night
    of  sore arms every morning
    of tentatively bathing in the current of the waterfall
    of tanlines and sunkissed freckles..everywhere
    of the best damn fresh fish ever to be had
    of solitude our neighboring island provided
    of mist from the largest waterfall in Saskatchewan on my flushed cheeks
    of cooking bannock in the middle of the night
    of silent, understated tears warmed on my cheeks by the fire
    of undeniable appreciation for individuals, easily overlooked during many years we spent together.
    - - -
    these are the moments we live for
    these are the moments i live for

    __

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    i got lots of friends,
    yes, but then again
    nobody knows me at all
    but i don't give a damn
    i'm happy as a clown

    i can't


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    I
                      can't
                                             get
                                                                      my
                                                                                             head
                                                                                                                     out
                                                                                                                                             of
                                                                                                                                                                    the
    clouds

                                                                                                                                                                                 

    expectations

    exceeded,

    Monday, 13 February 2012

    i was drunk on the charleston butterfly

    simply splendid music to cook to 

    life is too short to :

    Not have nights of recklessness
    Not see the whole world
    Not see how your old friends are doing, months, years later
    Not give yourself enough credit where it’s due
    Not get lost in a fictional book
    Not love your flaws
    Not wish at every 11:11
    Not love someone in all their forms
    Not hug your mother as often as you can
    Not aspire to be inspired everywhere
    Not cry at sappy Hollywood romance
    Not listen to music constantly
    Not dance with your father
    Not love your roots
    Not dress up and go out with your girlfriend
    Not dream bigger than everyone tells you to
    Not embrace your independence
    Not give your heart away
    Not see your favorite band play
    Not give your time to someone who needs it
    Not find safety in all life's chaos
    Not believe in something beyond yourself
    Not embrace happiness as it comes
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    Have philophobia
    Disguise yourself, artificially
    Worry about calories
    Fund wars
    Sweat the small stuff
    Forget those in your past who shaped who you are today
    Do wrong to others
    Stop kissing the one you love
    Let age determine your capability
    Tolerate ignorance
    Allow drama to take away from the simplicity of life
    Let society shape you into mainstream material
    Over think .

    Sunday, 12 February 2012

    i forgot to thank you

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                                                                                                                                                         for the short stories..

    your picture of me

     is my laptop back drop 

    marie de france

    "be sure that you speak with unfeigned lips."

    Saturday, 11 February 2012

    tonight, I sleep alone

    my heart a fluttering, warm mess
    my life once again back in its proper perspective

    Friday, 10 February 2012

    Thursday, 9 February 2012

    again with the assumptions

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    "i think you have no heart
    and i had a mind once to give you mine"

    unofficial

    maybe we're better this way
    gravity, stay the hell away from me.

    phased

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    Sleepwalking
    you tell me to work harder,
    more than you tell me 
    that you love me.