final thoughts

2015

the year you found me

the year I stopped running

brick wall

reasoning with you
is like running head first 
full speed - into a brick wall

reciprocal

never have i ever
found such reciprocation
of 

K

the beauty of a woman I once resented
I now applaud

you think i'm so beautiful

let's pack a bag & go

stretch

you always did have that curious

opened lip, wrinkled brow, look on your face

it made me smile to see it

your hair is so long these days

intuitive

use your healing hands

to mend someone else's heart

he may be oblivious to your intentions

but i'm not

wipe out

this morning

how can I expect someone to connect to my heart strings

the way I have connected with someone they have never met

Someone they have never had the pleasure of loving

on days like today, you flood my mind

the music we listened to, extracts our memories

on days like today

I am overwhelmed 

I am beside myself

at a love so great

at love I had the pleasure

 of experiencing

it makes me want to go

if you see this anymore

My heart will always throb, when yours does

things look so bad, everywhere

While the sun continued to hide

Well after my alarm went off

I squinted through tired eyes at this:

"If you're struggling, you deserve to make self-care a priority. Whether that means lying in bed all day, eating comfort food, putting off homework, crying, sleeping, rescheduling plans, finding an escape through a good book, watching your favorite tv show, or doing nothing at all - give yourself permission to put your healing first. Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and today, whatever you do, let it be enough. Feel your feelings, breathe, and be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge that you're doing the best you can to cope and survive. And trust that during this time of struggle, it's enough." - Daniell Koepke

and it relieved just the slightest bit

of pressure

doctor,

doctor,

my psyche is fucked

dome, globe, noggin, head

what the HELL is it about you

that refuses to let me lose 

the least bit of interest in you

you are nothing close to what i want

but you're everything i want