my first

wasn't just my first for that  

my first was my first for love

i never thought i'd admit it. even to myself

i always thought i'd chalk it up to "foolish young love"

but i'm not so young anymore

i wasn't so young, when i fell in love with my first

what i felt was real; and that cannot ever be denied or criticized 

except by maybe, my first..

i ..never saw myself love before my first. funny how things change.

funny how time and time again i eat my ever-so-determined 

promises i seem to make to myself 


i'm young enough to know the difference between lust & love.