the wrench to latino dancers

caption on the newspaper : meet Valeria. she's from Ukraine.
scary how much they resemble one another, isn't it?
seeing her on this newspaper made me think of you.
which in turn reminded me of something i had wanted to do for quite some time, but never had a chance
so. in mystic java, . i sat. idle. & scrolled.
i had to write what stuck out to me, down.
this was the closest thing i could write on.
& this is what is written on it :
-that gaze, just like back in august..will still get me every time.
-oh my. i said so many things wrong to you..yet you put up with me..you pursued me..
- your flattery/honesty..call it what you want. came so easy then
- at one time, i was just a girl through your phone & an occasional gaze..
- my words were daggers
-your blog made me want to Tennessee you..so young,..so young
-remember when you "called" that night? you were so wrong. i hope you didn't mind.
-you placed ME on a pedestal..
-you were so convinced you had no chance..so, so wrong to assume m'dear..so in-confident. soo hypocritical
-you once told me, i reminded you of two women from your past combined "which is weird"
-we always agreed to disagree
-remember when i openly discussed your crazy days? no trace of judgement  
-remember when you would text me random, inappropriate lyrics? i do
-your childish honesty then, brings a smile to my face now even still
-first it was the chase,,, then the secrecy of it all. we were addicts of that rush 
-i was one big contradiction. 
-you once told me you didn't trust me. i hope you can now..
-our conversations make me laugh still, you were SUCH a boy..
-"some might say it was a for sure thing" - our relationship started out in such a bizarre way.. 
-you started over with me once already, i suppose we can't give it a second go?
-"with you, it is so easy"
-"like in Iguazu falls in South America, the negative ions make grown men giddy. That's what i feel with you!"
-remember when i left town, & you almost got arrested?
-our drunk conversations make me facepalm. ahahah
-my values once made me confident enough to intimidate you.
-show me your poetry you talked about so often..

-you once said; "that's why i love what's in your heart. it has so much love to give!"
-"i love you. i hope one day when you look back at this you will realize that this is true. whatever happens. i love you"
-remember when you said "if you ever need me, i will be here for you"? i do.
4.5 hours
3 tears
& 1 sore throat