getting better with each passing day

The price of fun

This morning in the shower
as I wash half a tequila shot out of my hair
I can't help but smile
At how proud of each and every single decision I made yesterday
I'm beginning to know myself a little better every day

And ps. If either of you happen to see this.
Just know you've fucked up any chance of having a place in my life
I hope you're happy
And I hope it was worth it

How scary a thought

How scary is it
That no matter how I see you
Who I see you with
No matter what I see you doing
Or who I've heard you're doing

That I will always love you
That my heart will always ache to be with you

That no matter what form you're in
Good, bad, reckless, irresponsible, arrogant, cold, hurting
That I will love you, and everything that I know to be good, in you
From however far away I may be
Or however far away, you've up and gone

How scary a thought
How can you train your heart to walk away
From such a peculiar love

A long time from now
I will look back at this and smile
Fond of how I once loved you
And how my love for you has changed
Resting at how I now love you

My heart aches
And will ache in many other ways
That nothing could prepare me for
No time, or heeding advice
In this new year

Around you

I'm becoming a ghost

If you keep pushing the subject
And imposing your expectations constantly
Guaranteed, you'll have pushed me out of your reach
And I can damn well guarantee you'll see me 
Doing the farthest thing from
What you'd "like to see me" do. 

Some mornings it would have been better for me to just not awake

to such a damaging mood like this, without reason

new years kiss

My new years kiss, belonged to a champagne glass, and a wad of bills.